Tour A La Bama

The first reaction that most people had was something like, "are you crazy?". I would usually then explain that we would get up super early and ride before it got too hot, and that 70 miles a day isn't that hard on a bike, especially when you've nothing else to do but push the pedals and eat. Cool, clean hotel rooms are a luxury that make the heat of the day all the more tolerable, and we would spend a number of hours basking in the chilled air of someone else's power bill. Was this convincing? Maybe to some, but to others we must have seemed a bit masochistic. But, as you can see from the sequence of photos below, it was clearly the bikes that went crazy...






With a little good fortune and a lot of good food we made our way from Lookout Mountain, TN to Destin FL, in about 6 days. Day 1 was a beautiful ride out Hwy 157. Rolling hills, beuna vistas, and fajitas for two when we arrived at Weiss Lake, AL.

Susanna, Roller Coaster Road, Day 1

Days 2 and 3 we followed Hwy 9 from Centre to Wetumpka. We awoke on our first morning on the road to local news stations warning of poor air quality for this to-be the hottest day of the year. No problem. We made a short jaunt from Centre to Heflin, about 50 miles, and found respite and barbecue near Interstate 20. We went to bed, planning on getting up super early and trying to knock out a bunch of miles before lunch the next day. 6:00 am and some Hardys biscuits got us to Goodwater before lunch, about 50 miles. We found more awesome barbecue and tried to loiter in the A/C as long as possible, but the magnetic pull of the road got us rolling again by 1:00. As we rode into Wetumpka, we were both finishing our first ever centuries and the weather that had been building behind us all day was just beginning to break. We walked to the closest Mexican restaurant between breaks in the rain, and toasted to sore legs and sweat over some more fajitas.

Typical Hwy 9 Scenery

Fed up with chicken trucks and rednecks in mudslingers, I picked up an Alabama Atlas and Gazetteer on the morning of day 4. Now it was time to get lost on some county roads. The weather began building behind us again, and by noon we were hiding from lightning at a dog kennel in Downing. The first storm passed and we found ourselves trying to ride through sand in BFE, AL. By the end of the day, we had waited out another storm at some random church and had been invited in for a Wednesday night Bible study. We graciously declined and headed into Troy in a light drizzle and dwindling light.

Sand Road

Opp was our next destination, and our fifth day on the road would prove to be that of our muscular discontent. We were quite fatigued this day, but only had a quick 50 miles on roads less traveled. Opp was our favorite town, we ate steaks and seafood at a quaint little restaurant and, so that we could drink a beer and play some billiards, became members of the local club "Regis' Four Sons".

Fun with Fatigue

It was in Florida on day 6 that we finally got caught in a giant thunderstorm with no shelter. We found a low spot near a culvert in the road and huddled together hoping the lightning would not see us. It didn't and we made our way to Niceville, having our first and only flat tire on the way. We celebrated with some more seafood on the sound and some redstripe while picking which sail boat we would buy for our next adventure...

Success

You must be joking...

I did my first road race last weekend. CAT 5 road race that ended in a climb. Achieved my goal of being in the top 10 by the skin of my teeth... 10th place.

I didn't think there was much doping going on below the pro level until I was reading the drunkcyclist's blog and stumbled upon this link to a forum all about doping... I don't even know what to say about this.
I've got my own form of doping and plan to do lots of it tonight. Think I'll start things off with a lager and move on to the ales from there.

Keepin' Up with the Joneses

I've noticed that lots of other bloggers have important causes they promote to their vast readership be it conservation of rivers in canada, green practices, research on terminal and chronic diseases, looking at boobs, and last but certainly not least... general self aggrandizement; not being one to be left behind TJ also has its causes. I present to you one cause TJ has deemed worthy enough to champion... Bringing the movie RAD to DVD release.

We will work hard to keep you up to date with the latest progress in this most important endeavor.

Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em

On Saturday night several other lazy cyclists and myself decided to sign up for the Southeastern Regional Championship pedal-bike race being held at Raccoon Mtn. on Sunday. Despite our lack of preparation we felt the need to defend our home turf. The SERC series is a regional race so it brought out fast men and women from around the southeast, I hoped my home field advantage would garner me a few spots in the standings.

This was the first XC race I have participated in, typically my focus in cycling, if you can call it that, has leaned towards the endurance side of the sport. So going all out for two hours was quite a change from the long duration events done at a more sustainable pace.
Race Recap:
After a series of phone calls between the local lazies to determine when we'd show up at the event, planning to arrive as late as possible to increase our odds of missing the start, we had a brief team meeting before warming up and lining up at the start.

I was off in the single speed class. The first bit was on paved road and I got off the line fast enough to be in first place at the first turn, second place at the second turn and the pattern seemed to continue... I ran out of gear as the road got flat to slightly down hill and lost several more places. When the course turned into the woods and got technical I rounded a corner to a pile up in a technical section. Since I knew the section was there I was commited to a line I thought would be there around the blind corner only to find a bunch of wheels and feet and legs I had no time to slow or change line so I ran into the tire in front of me and had to dismount the bike and subsequently lost a couple of places, I was bummed, had I been in front I may have made up a good gap here.
Back on the bike and chasing back up to the leaders I came off the end of a bridge and my handle bars rotated around in the stem. I rode it like that for a while but finally decided that I'd have to fix it. Lost some more places and started getting swept up by the leaders of the sport class. I was able to bust ass and catch a few more single speeders but the leaders were gone.

TG came across the line bloodied from a botched jump, I wish we had photos of the gore.

So I learned several things that will hopefully help me go faster next time. I was bummed to lose spots due to the pile up and the mechanical but I probably wouldn't have done much better without those mishaps, but maybe less bad.

- make sure your bolts are tight enough on your bike before you race, but not too tight
- if you are really serious, gear accordingly (i.e. if they modify the loop to take out the worst climbing and give you a paved start take off the 20 tooth and put on a 19 tooth freewheel)
- now that you've geared accordingly get out in front of everyone else because most of the racers suck ass at technical riding
- stay out in front because riding a hill behind a geared racer (even if he is the leader in that class) sucks, and despite how much you want to kick him in the forehead off the trail so you can get by it's easier to just pick up your bike run past him and get back on, I think this also helps to demoralize the geared biker as well.
- don't race in the afternoon in the end of June
- preemptive strike against cramps
- plan to have your mechanicals later in the race, in the early parts everyone is amped up, a mechanical failure later in the race seems to create less of a gap to make up





old photo dump: TJIB/ TDUB after Cohutta 100

Summer Time BBQ

Since it is summer time most of us are riding bicycles (except people who own 4 wheelers)

Looks like its time to put up the mtn bikes and fixed gears put on your sister's jeans, grab a white belt, scarf and get out the push- fix

I've really been into this lately, I started riding the fixed gear with flat pedals and no breaks back in '94 but I just didn't feel the zen like connection to my ride like I do with my fix-push board. The skidding competitions are the best.

This should be cool for a few minutes and then I am going to find some other old forgoten useless object to make cool. I think I'll go back to wooden rims on my bike to get the true zen experience of bicycle riding, all you other fools are just posers.




Homeless man: "Do you know why hipsters are no good at karate?"

Me: Huh?... no.

Homeless man: "Because they can't get past the white belt"

"To Serve Man"

Well we haven't updated in a while...
Here is a working draft that was written for March:

Gustatus Similis Pullus


March like a lion. I wish I had sat down and blogged some over the course of March it was a busy month. Unfortunately now you'll just get a laundry list of happenings of the month.

On the 5th everyone got together to celebrate the life of Daniel D. with a run from Alum Cave to the Overlook on the West Prong and then a bike ride at Kitsuma. The rest of the week we paddled Suck Creek and Cain/ North Chick. here in Chattanooga. The following Saturday Bear Creek ran.
Lots of biking: rode across GSMNP, paddled the Bear again with Andy D, Nate H and some Asheville boys, rode 65 of the 100mi route for the Cohutta 100 with Turner, paddled Suck Creek, lost a teacher mentor and hero as Ron Stewart passed away. Ran the Bear again. We thought alot about Ron as we paddled that day and it was good to be with several others who had learned alot about boating and a little about mathmatics from Mr. Stewart.

Sometime later Nate Helms, Chris Young, Alex Ransom, Jason Rodwell and I met up at Blake Turner's house to ride the Cohutta 100. It rained the night before. The ride was good. Jason Muirell beat Floyd Landis, TASTE IT!

A couple of weeks of relaxation later Nate Helms, Chris Young, Alex Ransom and I met up in Brevard area to race PMBAR , awesome event and format. Brad Kee won it, TDUB!
I think we'll be back for Double Dare this fall.

A couple days ago we went to the Green River Narrows and had a great group of old friends. As we were relaxing on the rocks below Sunshine Bryce said, " I wish I had this group going to California with me" or something like that. He left for CA yesterday with a couple of squires. They should be fine, they'll just need a few pairs of clean underpants.

they'll probably be more biking than boating and I'll try to update this blog more often for all our dedicated readers. {echo}
omg

Of Hog's Heads and Misdirection

More Rain!

A band of rain came up from the Gulf of Mexico on Jan. 10th and it brought some warm weather with it. Thursday night and Friday morning the cell towers were buzzing with paddlers speculating on and checking levels. By the time Friday morning rolled around we had a huge group of old friends ready to go kayaking. Bryce Evans was even up and out of bed and called to tell me I was running late.
Bear Creek almost came up to a runnable level. The gauge was at 8" but had been up to 12" early in the AM.

By the time we had everyone rounded up and loaded up we had decided to go check out Henderson Creek. We checked the level at the Richland Creek bridge and it was only at .7' but Richland had some water in it. It seems like some sediment is shifting around at that gauge. Typically we'd look for a level of around 2' for a good run of Henderson.

After some more speculation we headed up to the putin to look at the flow and found an acceptable level. The new gauge at the putin bridge was reading -6". This is the lowest most of us had run Henderson but it was still a very fun level. I would put a minimum on the top gauge around -7"

The run was fairly clean of wood. The only wood in play that I remember was a tree down in the left line of Rattlesnake.

Todd Grafe on the way to the chiropractor- Spinal Adjustment- Henderson Cr.




"Come Together with Your Plan"- Rodwell on Spoonman- Henderson Cr.





























Javid Grubbs ducking out the Fire Escape- Henderson Cr.


Bryce Evans, Portrait for the Family



We finished up our run. Picked up our cars at the top and headed home. No one gave much thought to the car at the putin.

I went home and had an excellent dinner:



Turns out the car belonged to a father, daughter team of kayakers that thought they were putting on the Piney. By the reports I have heard they got into the run, past the flat water paddle in and ran a few of the upper slides. They may have even made it down to Spinal Adjustment. At some point they decided to hike out. They did not make it out by nightfall and spent the evening in the wilderness. Thankfully they emerged from the woods unharmed late Saturday morning.

The next day we headed for The Nations.
Raven Fork was at a low but runnable level of .9' We had a huge group again with two first timers.
When we got to the put in at Anaconda a group of three arrived from Lord of the Rings. Rob, Adam and Shane loosely joined our group and we all had a blast watching everyone's lines in the drops. Luckily we ran into Pat and he let us know about a new log in Mike Tyson's Punchout, which Pat ran despite the log but no one else wanted a piece. With that log in combination with Mortal Combat it feels like you're portaging half the river. Here are some photos to enjoy while you are waiting for the logs to disappear to make the trip worth the travel time...


"you can do side-bends or sit-ups..." Bryce













Przybysz










"Tricky-woo" off the couch and boofing at Caveman.











Check out some video on this blog.

A Great End to 2007. a trip report





A good slow rain fell on the Southeast late Thursday night and all day Friday, Dec. 28th.
I was able to get out of work early enough to catch one run on Suck Creek. Suck started running around 2:00 Friday afternoon so most folks were able to get several runs in.

With most of the rain hitting the Smokies and NC, as usual, we made plans to travel for the weekend.

I headed towards Knoxville on a solo mission to meet up with Andy Dodson to paddle the West Prong. The place was packed with boaters and tourons. The weather was a beautiful sunny day but I didn't take the camera since photos don't seem to do this run justice. We met up with Blake Turner and Nick U. for a run down the upper section. Eichhorn and Bryce, who had decided earlier in the day that they weren't going to go kayaking realized their foolishness and headed up to the mountains to meet us for a second run.
This was my first run on the West Prong and I thought it was everything it is made out to be. I think its best described as an amped up Foss or Money Creek or a really tamed "bottom 9"
The scenery is spectacular there are lots and lots of tourists. We saw some big old ravens at the takeout which Blake Turner proceeded to tell me were only black birds... how did that run on the other side of the mountain get its name? That must have been Blake talking, not Mr. Turner.

The next day, Dec. 30th, we headed through the clouds to the other side of the mountain to run Raven Fork. Raven Fork always seems to run around New Years. We found a good level to take a couple of first timers down. The gauge at the bridge was 9" brushing up to the 10" mark. It had rained a little that morning and the night before and although we didn't check the gauge on the way home it felt like the river came up a little bit, maybe to 10", 11" or more, evidenced by the Oconaluftee USGS gauge

Things Fall Apart

Taking first timers into the Raven Fork is always fun. Sunday was no different. The amount of fog in the gorge only added to their anticipation as it was difficult to see the rapids from the trail on the way in. A slight misty drizzle kept the gorge dark.
There is new wood in the small slide below Headless Horseman, stuck right against the wood that was there previously. Wood also warranted a portage of Mortal Combat.



Andy.


We made our way around Big Boy and showed Taylor and Eichhorn how not to run Mike Tyson's Punchout. I came down the last part backwards, flipping upon the landing, I tried to brace back up right, at the point that I was about halfway back up I saw myself heading for a pocket in the right wall. I got stuffed in the pocket and went under the wall. I'll spare the reader all the should've, would've, could've that goes through someone's head after they decide to pull their skirt. The end result was that I grabbed my, paddle, camera, boat and the tree trunk coming down off the river right wall. The boat proved too heavy to hold onto and still be able to hold onto the tree trunk so I let that go. I wonder if my Perception airbags that crapped out about 8 years ago had been replaced if I would have been able to hold onto the boat? It washed into the eddy on the bottom right of the ledge below. So it was just me, my gear and the tree. Andy was in the eddy and I looked over at him and wondered why he was watching me still in his boat. Andy had landed at a strange angle and pulled his ribs. After some kind words from me Andy struggled out of his boat and up onto the rocks on the river left where he made a weak toss of the throw rope which landed like a Oregon State field goal kicker's kick, too short. A situation like this is why its best to have more than two people in your group. Bryce was able to get a rope to me and I swung over to shore above the ledge that was just downstream. I got my boat drained, and Andy got ready to hike out with injured ribs.

Eichhorn sliding right


We continued on downstream living up to the motto that started off as a joke, "Always Leave a Man Behind" The remaining rapids went well and everyone met up again at Mr Watty's house.

Middle Creek

After a late wake up and having my coffee I got a call half expecting it to be about going biking in the afternoon after the trails dried out a bit. The boys had done some preliminary research and found what was thought to be a runnable creek.

A quick shuttle was set, the covert put-in was as successful as one could expect when walking around with brightly colored 80 gallon tubs and we were on the river. We worked our way downstream, finding the level low and dropping, wood and debris from the fire over the summer slowed our progress both in the water and on land.
Highlights:
"Shoot Me In the Face with a 9"- Middle Creek 3rd time run from the top down. Everyone else put in inside the cave.
One scary ass pin: involving wood underwater, not visible, everyone else boofed it, one man went deep and caught it in the lap, on top of the sprayskirt, any kayaker's worst nightmare, but alls well that ends well.


Hand-paddling Underground





Look here if you want a description: http://www.americanwhitewater.org/content/River_detail_id_4276_#rapid1493

Notes From the Underground

Incoming Wire...

while many suffer here in the drought stricken south, one man rejects this and takes it upon himself to rise above this condition of boredom. Here is his story:

Successful expedition to the Himilayas.
I left the states in early Oct. and headed to India. The US team got together in Dheli where we hired an opium addicted alcoholic driver to pilot our van. The teams main mission was to paddle the 5 sacred tributaries that make the Ganga or Ganges River. After a 2 week session on the Tons, Supin and Yamuna, as well as a couple of broken boats, class V first descents, no white people, no beer, very little English, and the first westerners to enter a village or two. We decided it was time to head to Rishikesh for a new driver, a couple rest days, and a replacement for the broken boats.
Then it was off up the Alakananda and the Mandanakini for a couple more weeks of paddling, seeking out the goods, visiting some sacred places, and living large T.J. style in the Himilayas. The last two drainages turned out to be the highlight of the trip. Easy access, tons of different runs, one or two possible first d's and lots of action both on the river and off. We also grabbed a couple days trekking in the Himilayas surrounded by 6000m peaks and working the legs a little. Than it was back to the rivers. On our last drainage of the trip, we ran into North Carolina's own JJ Sheapherd and his team of international boys. We hit it up together for a couple days before going on our own respective paths. We finished our planned expedition in 5 weeks, and decided it was time to wrap it up in India and make our way to Nepal.
Nepal is the shit. We left India took our 1st of many sketchy bus rides and crossed the boarder into Nepal early in the morning, only to find ourselves caught in the middle of a Maoist caused student protest due to a bombing that killed 25 people and stopped all east west travel. After 5 days isolated on the boarder the political groups reached an aggrement and travel was on. We made our way to Pokhara and the Annapurna Drainages. We linked up with some Scottish boys and lost a couple of our own, as we fired up 2 sweet runs out of Annapurna Sanctuary. Then it was off to Eastern Nepal, Kathmandu and a couple runs off of Everest. I'll do another update with pictures and some river descriptions later in the month. Now its off to the rocky mtns for powder season and a bit of work.Cheers, Stan #43 On Tue, 4 Dec 2007 08:14:25 -0500

Gentlemen of Leisure

The dam releases of the Gauley River are upon us.
Gone are the hot summer days of leisure boating.
Squeezing into the squirt boat for one more mystery session at the local sink spot or pulling on that ringer pfd for a relaxing squirt run down the Ocoee are only foggy memories as you seal the skirt at Summersville.
No, leisure boating is over. Its on in the big water, undercut ladden rapids such as the one who's name strikes fear in the bowels of any semi-sane squirt boater, LOST PADDLE. Sure those boys look so debonair through most of the run but know that they're puckered "tighter than Steely Dan's assholes" on that rock below the Meadow.

Why do I call it leisure boating?


Stuff enough foam in your fake jacket so you know which way is up, slip into some metal flake and charc in for a ride on the "poopship"

How We Roll Part II

Or: More Colorado Dilly Dally

NOTES: Treasure Canyon

-high alpine scenery

-"unique" character

-"worth doing", once

-deadly portage just before crux drop "Twizzler"

-no "OBJ style" anything

makes mouths happy

Good Idea: Stop off at the Wolf Creek "tunnel of love" for some "roadside", high-water action. Put in just upstream of large culvert under highway 160 on the west side of Wolf Creek Pass. Take out after you've had enough.

Bad Idea: Risk life and limb clinging to loose rocks on sketchy scree slope only to be turned away from twenty-footer by near vertical walls.

Good Idea: Head to Durango for Colorado Gazeteer and Thai food made by cowboy.

... and your dad is still a bitch, kid.

Interesting Idea: Put on Lime creek late in the afternoon on an a hot day in June.

Bad Idea: Break your borrowed Werner in Adrenaline

Good Idea: Follow local's lines on Lime creek late in the afternoon on a hot day in June.

"colorado classics"


Good Idea: For Epic Winter Riding, Check Out Treasure Mountain Hut

http://www.treasuremountainhut.com/

Backcountry's Finest

PLAN B.2: Run the Upper Animas from Silverton to Tacoma

PLAN C.2: Avoid the cold wind and rain in the various nooks and crannies of Silverton. Head over Red Mountain Pass . Doddle in Ouray. Head to Orvis for a soak. Eat more cheeseburgers. Drive dirt roads for miles in the dark. Pull over and sleep in the dirt.

un-run 60 footer in Animas watershed

PLAN D.3: Big Cimmaron

PLAN E.3: West Fork Big Cimmaron. (First D anyone? I hear its just ripe up there for exploring.)

PLAN G.9: Take advantage of recent cold snap and falling water levels. Head to Crystal drainage. Yule on the high side. Resort to plan H.9.

PLAN H.9: Head up the North Fork of the Crystal. Cross the creek? Definately. Get turned back by snowed-in road. Definately.

PLAN I.a: Good Idea? Bad Idea? at Crystal Mill Falls

run to the hills

Good Idea: Come back to Yule the next morning.

the mystic is a sick stick

Bad Idea: "Check" the wall at the bottom of slide shown below.

boldy going

Marginal Idea: Get rejected by rooster tail and get sent careening into giant rock pile at river-right, bottom of slides shown below.

Reality Check

Good Idea: Skip like a stone at the bottom of this massive slide

elephant gunner

Bad Idea: Put in too high upstream on Yule creek.

Good Idea: Running the crown jewel of Colorado's park-n-huck.

happy ending

How We Roll

Or: Spirit of the Hawk Flies with Beta

charge

PLAN A:

May 31st. Beta Team Leave Chattanooga. Drive to New Mexico. Paddle low water ditch mankfest El Rio Santo Cruz. Paddle The Embudo. Observe first ever gaging station installed by the USGS sometime in the late 19th century. Wait on Charlie Team.

O Captain

PLAN B:
Charlie Team arrive. Alpha Team call and advise all teams to continue to the Middle Fork Kings ASAP. Bomb Embudo with Charlies. Charlies become convinced that California is the place to be. Drive north to Treasure Canyon. Part ways with Charlie Team on the 4th.

Michael Jackson or Magic Johnson?

very local: Atom Crawford

PLAN C:
Receive call from JC Sprayer. Yule is on the way in. Drive to Penitente Canyon. Sleep amidst giant boulders. Awake and drive to Yule in the AM.

penitente

PLAN D:
Awake amidst giant boulders. Realize Yule is very far out of the way to California. Head to Durango. Maybe stop at Wolf Creek waterfalls.

Some interesting folks in these hills: Jayhawk the Prospector and Jerry Garcia look-a-like, migrant "fisherman" near false put-in. Both friendly

PLAN E:

Remember about Treasure Canyon. It is on the way to Durango, in a way. Stop off in Del Norte for some internet. Kings looks too high. Call Alpha Team and inform.

it didn't give me one

PLAN F:
Charlie Team and Beta Team will stick to Colorado park-n-huck and high-water mank. Fest.

A big game hunter in his habitat

Stanimal out

Fest

Below Average

It ain't gonna be August this year

RESEARCH PROPOSAL FROM TJRC

“What Happened to The Bear?” – a look into the facts surrounding the mysterious lack of rainfall on Lookout Mountain, GA (TJRC, 2007).



Figure 1: 27 Years of Streamflow Data for Lookout Creek

There are many theories as to why the sacred Bear does not run anymore. Some have blamed development upstream, sinkholes opening in the watershed, general drought, and even an invisible “rain shield” held in place by mystic forces of the netherworld. Though many of these seem plausible, none can be proven by mere rhetoric. Thus, the Team Jib Research Council (TJRC) has put together a proposal for a scientific study to analyze all the contributing variables and to determine, once and for all, the cause/s of this horrific tragedy. It is the belief of a few members of Team Jib (TJ) that the current lack of rain over Lookout Mountain, GA is due to a curse brought upon the residents of the southeast by a certain council member who shall, for the purposes of this study, remain nameless. This study will be base on scientific evidence, such that no bias by superstition or wanton paddy-cake in the realm of ideas will influence the findings of the TJRC.