Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Gentlemen of Leisure

The dam releases of the Gauley River are upon us.
Gone are the hot summer days of leisure boating.
Squeezing into the squirt boat for one more mystery session at the local sink spot or pulling on that ringer pfd for a relaxing squirt run down the Ocoee are only foggy memories as you seal the skirt at Summersville.
No, leisure boating is over. Its on in the big water, undercut ladden rapids such as the one who's name strikes fear in the bowels of any semi-sane squirt boater, LOST PADDLE. Sure those boys look so debonair through most of the run but know that they're puckered "tighter than Steely Dan's assholes" on that rock below the Meadow.

Why do I call it leisure boating?

Stuff enough foam in your fake jacket so you know which way is up, slip into some metal flake and charc in for a ride on the "poopship"

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